November 19, 2006

  • MEN & WOMEN

    A few general observations to think about:  (you might want to sit down for this one)

     

    Men are "TO DO" oriented, Women are "TO BE" oriented.   Men think and are judged according to accomplishments; career,  who can beat who up, who can spit farther, etc.   Women think and are judged according to being something; being attractive, being nice, being polite, being a good mother, etc.  

     

    Men are not emotionally agile or fast.  A man might have one emotion and keep it all day long, while a woman can go through 40 different emotions in a single conversation.  This is great for raising children, (that mom can be so quick and responsive) but causes problems in a relationship.  Most men are not intentionally "emotionally abusive" they just have no concept of what it is like to have that many emotions so quickly.  It requires faith for a woman to overlook how she might feel and be assured that her man still loves her and give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't mean to cause however she feels. 

     

    Women are pleased TO BE with a male companion,  Men enjoy DOING an attractive woman.   Men think of their home as their castle where they can relax and and DO whatever they want.  Women, however, think of it as their nest which reflects on them personally, as a woman BEING neat and clean and having good judgement.  Scientific studies have shown that women are more aware of objects in a room, and are more likely to notice if one of them is moved.  Great for child rearing and tending the nest.   Men, on the other hand, test out as better at hearing a noise and being able to determine from where and what distance the noise came from.   Great for protecting the nest. 

     

    Men focus in like a laser on a female body and are excited by that.  (Lots TO DO there.)  Women are more nest-oriented and sensitive to exterior locations of ease and comfort which they term as "romantic."  (Lots TO BE there.)  Unfortunately each sex tries to improve their own attractiveness, often in error,  by relying on their own understanding of  what affects them and what they assume will affect the opposite sex the same way.    So, for example, women often spend a lot of time trying to decorate their exterior selves in hopes they will be more attractive if they are wearing something beautiful,  -a magically enhanced transfer of  beauty by association that most women understand but most men don't. .    For  instance, women are often aware of what shoes a person is wearing, while men generally pay no attention to that whatsoever. 

     

    Women spend a good part of their lives making decisions about personal style and fashion (To Be) and men do not, because they are far more concerned about what they can DO than how they might look or smell while doing it.   Women seem to develop a template of style, or a cookie cutter of "being," and are critical of those who fall too far outside of their standards, and are much more accepting of those who fall inside their standards.   This is great for raising and molding children, but can cause problems in a relationship.  Women are often frustrated and befuddled that men are not more like women.  Men, however, seem to appreciate and relish the differences.  (The truly ironic thing, though, is that women tend to become more like men as they get older.  Perhaps this is because the behavior is no longer needed for raising children?)   

     

    Well, these are just my observations about a subject I've always been curious about.

    I'll probably add more later as I think of it.

    I sure wish I could go back in time and give my 18 year old self a copy of these observations. . .

     

    *EDIT*

     

    Women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day - 13,000 more than the average man. In The Female Mind, Dr Luan Brizendine says women devote more brain cells to talking than men. The simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high.



    Women talk to BE connected.  Men DO things with someone to feel connected. (Women feel connected BEing together, Men feel connected DOing together.)  This is why women have conversational friends, while men have 'poker buddies', or 'hunting buddies.'   Where women talk to feel connected, Men must first feel connected to talk as much.  This is why sex is a more important focus for men.  Studies have shown that while a man will think about sex every 52 seconds, the subject tends to cross women's minds just once a day.

     

November 16, 2006

  • Surfing insanity

    Well, I surfed about 50 new blogs today (which is probably about a week before you will read this) and I didn’t subscribe to one of them. Boo hoo. I do have a renewed appreciation for every blog I already subscribe to. *deep respectful bow* I might even ‘show’ that again on my site someday.



    In fact, I’ve been thinking about having a Turtle Holiday where I show everything for 24 hours, just to say I did it.   It might start a trend though; ‘blog streaking.’   It could become really popular to be so daring and go naked for a day. Watch out.



    Hold on.   Wait a minute.   A faint din of voices is heard, begging me to please keep my clothes on.   Okay, I guess maybe we should consider this further at some later time.



    But, this reminds me of the phrase I  read over and over on dozens and dozens of female blogs: “I am strong!” (Yes, add adjectives to taste, and simmer until brown.)



    I remember, about the tenth time I ran across that same phrase, I swore I would make my own similar declaration, on my own blog.   So, here it is: “I am pretty.”   “I am pretty, so very very pretty.” I do so realize now how pretty I really am.   It’s so liberating, and self-validating, for me to say that.   I think I will say it again, and further pump myself up: “I am pretty!”  You are strong, I am pretty.   Hey, I smell nice too.



    (Of course, I am expecting dozens traditional comments like “You go guy! You are truly pretty.   Anybody who don’t want your blog to go naked is just a jerk and totally crazy!)



    I have arrived. (Yes, that means I backed up and parked it right here.)  Seriously, what else can there be for me, once I have achieved pretty. . .?



    I just thought I should bring that up, as a matter of public interest, for those of you who were faintly cheering for me to keep my clothes on. (Who me? Yes.   You know who you are.)



    Maybe I should seek an Arts & Humanities grant for this first though, and get paid.   Tis the season for such applications now I see..., and, if I get paid, maybe we will all  see. . . 



    Okay, I would tell you what I’m drinking, but I can’t read the label anymore. . .  This is what random blog surfing will do to you. Warn your kids.



    Disclaimer: Nothing, absolutely nothing, discussed above was meant to identify or harm any particular person, or to disrupt anyone’s normal bodily functions.   None of the content was meant to be sexual in nature, because absolutely everything I know about sex  -I learned at a petting zoo when I was six years old.

November 14, 2006

  • These are the Days of our Lives . .

    These are some surprisingly thought provoking questions I got from Ms Janice (thought provoking as conclusive proof that I’m really a dweeb and a total bore.). 


    Let’s see, my favorite food is (after much thought) ‘whatever I am hungry for at the time.’ You might say, “gee that’s a stupid answer”, or you might say “gee, I wonder if they have one of those in brown?” like, if you weren’t really paying attention, but I try to pay attention to what my body craves and feed it that.  I’ve only been sick like once in the last 5 or so years, so it works for me, or at least it helps.  Maybe there is really no correlation, and it’s all just a superstition of mine?   Yeah, hey, that would make me a ‘religious’ eater!  That’s cool.   I should make a T-shirt and advertise my weirdness.   Maybe not.    On to the next question!  


    I should probably talk about movies next.  My favorite movie? Well, I’m not a big movie buff.  I only drag my butt off to the theater about once a year now. (even though I keep it on a leash, they always hassle me about bringing my butt to the theater.  They are always soooo worried that it is going to cause a big disruption.  Like all the ladies are going to want to grab a handful of my butt or something! …so politically correct we are these days… It just boggles my mind, and makes my butt quiver).   Where were we?   Oh yes, movies.  (Well, My daughter has watched Tomb Raider II like 20 times now, so that is not  my favorite movie.) Let’s see, for sheer entertainment I guess the second Harry Potter movie, but the first one was more fun, I can’t decide.  Gandhi used to be my favorite movie.  I guess, for strictly personal and completely unexplainable reasons, my current favorite is Hell Boy, but I also prize Spiderman because of it’s ending.  Trapped in Paradise and Groundhog Day are fondly remembered and worthy of mention.


    And finally, the easy one; What do I do for a living?  Already posted on that.  You can check it on Feb 10 2005, or click this link: http://www.xanga.com/The_Sea_Turtle/201808274/item.html to go directly there (because I made 3 posts that day, silly me.).   Scary, isn’t it?   It must be.  No one ever goes into the vault to read old posts.  It’s not like they are fruit, and they spoil and stink after a few days- but there seems to be no convincing people of that.   I think, people are afraid of appearing to be a stalker.   But I am a scary stalker, and I can tell you it’s not so bad.  You get used to it after awhile.


     

November 12, 2006

  • The communion of epiphany

    Okay.


    (As opposed to 'it's not okay' to start babbling, in which case I would have probably began babbling even faster.)


    Well, response to the questions of my prior post  -were surprisingly limited to two, or one an a half actually.  I guess that means I can charge forward, secure in the knowledge that no one in Xanga land has any real questions.. . none they are brave enough to ask, anyway.   To answer the one I did get fully:  The one book that probably most changed my life is called The Kingdom of Self , by Earl Jabay.  (Everyone who has reviewed it on Amazon has given it 5 stars so far.)   It is written by a Clinical Psychologist, so entertainment value is maybe low, but the painful epiphany value can be quite high.   For some it can be a hard landing into the lap of reality, and few really want to go there.


    I got my photo blog up on the site finally!  If you haven't noticed yet, snoop around.  (Do you think it changes my ambience to peppermint?)


    This should wake a few and shake out a few questions:


    So,  (not intended as a personal insult to any particular person) I was watching part of a show about drug dealing or something the other day, and I had this epiphany (yes, I almost hurt myself too) about crack dealers and women.  But not what you're thinking!  No,  I started to realize how similar it was to have a relationship with a woman, or with a crack dealer.  Either way, I figured, once you start a relationship up, it keeps costing you more and more to get a fix, because women are never satisfied, (except of course for the ones I have relationships with, -who were satisfied hours ago and are begging now to leave.)  and crack dealers are very cunning and selfish.   Or, is that crack dealers are never satisfied, and women are very cunning and selfish. . .  I forget.  Anyway, you can see it was powerful, whatever it was.  So I started listing all the things for women on one side of the paper, and all the things for crack dealers on the other side, because I'm just serious that way.  


    Do you know what, (I bet you don't. I haven't told you yet.) I discovered crack dealers have an advantage women don't have!  Yes.  (well, that is what most women say, but mine: they always say 'No. no more, please!')  Crack dealers, they do not insist that you never look at other crack dealers, do they?    No,  I don't think they do.  So this, of course, had a very profound impact on my personality, which I keep always in my own pants.   But ,I did want to share it with you this 'one' time.  Not like it is a 'one' night stand kinda thing you understand, (Personalities are more persistent than that.) but more like a shared epiphany sort of thing.  Okay, be careful with that.  I have noticed it makes some people fart. . .

November 8, 2006

  • Dare you read it all?

    How did my weekend go?  Well, I have a daughter who wants me to give her a high-five because she smells like a cucumber.  Seriously!  We were shopping a store that had two aisles of holiday gift baskets full of smelly goop for females- you know bath salt covered with colored dehydrated milk, bars of soap made out of yak milk and coconut, and colored little round balls of scented oil that give a whole new meaning to paint ball games.. .    Anyway, as my almost- 13yr old daughter and I were sorting through all the hideous plastic tote bags & purses and various organ donor containers that they package this stuff in, (just to give store security a buzz and make them feel like their lives are important too), she decides that she needs a personal 'scent.'  Oh boy.  Here we go.   I guess this is something grown women give serious thought to, but I sort of made a face and advised against anything like that.   To no avail.  She was not to be stopped.  I had more goop shoved under my nose for comment in one day than I have in the past ten years.  Some of it, I think, died maybe 10 years ago, too.. .   Eventually, and I do mean eventually, and for no explainable reason, she decided cucumber melon was to be her personal scent.   Oh goody.  So we purchased a big plastic purse-thingy (with thin pink and orange stripes that looks like a refugee from an Austin Powers movie) packed with different bottles full of similarly colored and similarly scented goop.  I've never met anyone so proud to smell like a cucumber.   Ever.  Maybe you have, but I have missed that little piece of culture.  Oh well.


    I just thought I needed to share that with you.  You were probably expecting -maybe a boring serious poem or something, eh?   Who knows.  I have such a diverse, I mean really really diverse as in REALLY diverse group of bloggers I subscribe to that reading my subscriptions is like a dizzy trip around the freaking world spectrum now. That's my caveat for writing like this at least.  It was my subscriptions that did it to me!  I was sane once!  No, really.    I've been filling in a lot for Dear Abbey lately  (if any of your young'uns even know who that is. . .  I would have said Ann Landers but I really don't have her cleavage.). So. . ., I  was thinking, since I was exhorted, I should maybe push this little red wagon and see where it takes me.   You're waiting for me to get to the point, aren't you?  Well, I'm like that, I have this sort of deep personal relationship with my readers, and the occasional drunk from outside who googles things like "see-thru top" and winds up here with the rest of you.  His good fortune, no doubt. (Hey, remember, I told you I don't have Ann Landers cleavage!)    Oh, . . . I knew if I typed long enough I would whine about something.    Points for me!!!    


    Okay, here it is (I started a new paragraph incase your eyes were glazing over. I always hated that.  If you've never spent all night smoothing the icing of a wedding cake, you wouldn't properly understand...)  My suitably improper proposition (haven't been propositioned yet today? good.  I haven't done my good deed for the day either, and I am such the Boy Scout.  But only because I heard that women love guys who wear a uniform, that's all)   because I am tired and too sober to be creative (you were probably wondering when I was going to actually start, right?) I thought maybe I would turn this around for my own education and twisted pleasure, and exhort you to ask me questions.  Two (2) things I'm curious about and stupid and impertinent enough to ask: (1) What, if anything, do you wonder about me and are brave enough to ask (because I just might answer with another long post like this) and (2) what sort of vibration/energy do you get or feel when visiting here?  (Cucumber perhaps?)


     

November 6, 2006

  • Let Them Eat Cake

    I asked my daughter last night what she learned this weekend, and she listed off about 20 things.  That’s pretty good I guess.  She actually learned about 40 things, but if she can list twenty of them for me, I figure that’s a pretty good weekend.



    But, we still need a name for her new basketball team.  My suggestion was that they call themselves The Cake-Eating Metal Cobras ‘Hisssssss.”  What girl doesn‘t love to hiss?  It’s going to be the team selection I think.  Every time they imagine themselves on the basketball floor hissing and wiggling their hips at the other team, I think it gains momentum. . . The girls could each have nicknames like: “Fang,” “Venom” and “Viper.”



    “We are the Cake-Eating Metal Cobras.  Hisssssss!  (Who knows, I might single-handedly ruin all good sportsmanship in this community. . .) “ You must be pound cake!  Not only are we going to stick a fork in you, but we’re also going to stick a candle in your creamy frosting, and light it, and then slice you up and serve you on small paper plates to rude grubby children who will tear apart anything you might have left, and smear you all over their faces in proud contempt. . .”  Well, at least we would be sure to have some drama. . . (Oh come on, there was one team last year that wore pink and referred to themselves as The Barbie Team. This is just a reaction to that, I think…)


     

November 3, 2006

  • LOL, you know somebody is most definitely messing with you when your horoscope reads like this:


    November 3, 2006

    There are very few people in this world who are naturally qualified to be a clown. You, dear R___, are one of them. You may not realize how gifted you are with children, though today you are likely to find out. Children respond to you because you treat them with kindness and respect. You do not speak down to them, as many parents do. Rather, you take the attitude that you can each teach one another. It is a powerful teaching tool, one that makes for a very interesting day!

     

October 31, 2006

  • Crazy Wild Excitement

     Welcome to Xanga, where we play "Guess My Mental Illness."   Johnny, could you please bring out our first contestant. . . 




    Anyway, since it is Halloween and all, I have to be predictably weird and become totally absorbed in something completely off topic and different, as usual. (someday the world and I will be in sync, but I’m never sure if that means they finally catch up to me, or I finally get on the same page everybody else is. I’ll not hold my breath either way.) I have been absorbed recently, with learning about the Star of Bethlehem and the Nativity. Yeah, really. That rocks! Doesn’t it? It’s Halloween, and my head is totally 60 days ahead and buried deep in Christmas right now. . . All of which is to say, that IF you have EVER been curious about the Star of Bethlehem, or about when was Jesus really born, astronomy, astrology, and the ancient history of the event, etc. You should check out this very intensely informative paper I found on the web right here:



    http://sciastro.net/portia/articles/thestar.htm



    Okay, consider this, even if you get absolutely nothing else out of it, you can completely astound and amaze your friends and befuddle your enemies this Christmas season -with your knowledge of totally fascinating historical trivia surrounding the birth of Jesus. (Yes, it really is only about 55 days away now, so -start studying).



    Hmmm. That reminds me, I need to get back to and finish my own paper on The Golden Calf. (One of these days.) I should go back and edit the parts I’ve already posted here first probably.


     


October 27, 2006

  • Just incase anyone forgot, I do still write song lyrics. . .


     


    I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR DARKNESS


     


    1)      I look, but I don’t see you.


    It’s crazy and it’s dark in here.


    I reach out, but I can’t find you.


    Are you hiding, are you filled with fear?


     


    (Chorus X2)


    I want to touch your darkness


    I want to touch your darkness with the light.


    I want to touch your darkness


    To build a fire within your soul.


    But if I move, baby, you move too.


    Where do you always go?


    I want to touch your darkness


    Where it’s black, and wet, and cold.


     


    2)      Even blackbirds sing in the quiet night,


    In soft darkness under the moon.


    But there’s nothing soft in your ebony hell


    Only madness, darkness, and gloom. . .


     


    3)      Hear me baby. . .when I call. . .


    Feel my love, and hear my voice. . .


    You don’t have to hide, in this place at all,


    I’m giving you the choice. . .


     

October 24, 2006

  • Occasionally, I feel the need to bring a pertinent news story to your attention.  Just for the heck of it.


    The following is edited and summarized from a news bulletin of Oct. 23rd by Liane Katz  that appeared on The UK Guardian Unlimited.  


    Police hunt train defecator


    "Transport police are hunting for an "exceptionally antisocial" man who has been defecating on trains across the country, causing tens of thousands of pounds-worth of damage.


    Detective Constable Donna Fox said: "The man has struck at least 30 trains since August, causing approximately £60,000 in damage and cleaning costs and resulting in many carriages been taken out of service, causing disruption and cancellations to the train services and serious inconvenience to the traveling public.


    She added: "There is no particular pattern as to when he appears. He travels to various areas and at different times of the day and different days of the week and basically waits to be in part of a carriage by himself before he commits these offences.


    "We have been trawling through CCTV images to try and track the man and remain hopeful that members of the public may know this man and more importantly know where he lives.


    "On at least one occasion CCTV footage shows the man being disturbed by a passenger walking through a train. We are appealing for this man or anyone else who may have witnessed this man committing offences to contact us.


    "If anyone sees this man traveling on the railway network, they should not approach him, but call the police or alert train staff immediately."


    · Anyone with information should call the British Transport Police witness appeal line on 020 7391 5275”


     


     


    Important Commentary:


    Okay, I’m thinking, that normally, any other time you call up and announce “There’s a man shitting on the train!”  They just tell you to hold your nose and hang up on you.”  What do you bet?  


     



    Why do they call this guy  “exceptionally antisocial?”  Is that fair?  Just because he doesn’t want anyone around when he’s doing his stinky business?  Blimey.     Do you suppose this means that everyone at the Constable’s office defecates together?  -holding hands maybe?   Think about it.


     


    They told us this guy is a public health risk, and then in the next breath they are asking this guy to ‘contact them.”   Why?  Are they nuts?  How are we supposed to take them seriously?   Okay, "this guy’s really very contagious, yeah, he’s a big health risk, and what we’d really like to do is have him join us in a group hug sometime."  What?


     


    The Constable’s office says they are hopeful that members of the public may know this man.    I’m so sure people are just beating a path to the Constable's door right now to exclaim that they recognize that man defecating. . .   “Oh, do you now?”   “Oh yes sir, I peep in all the windows in my neighborhood, and I’ve seen his act before sir, yes I have.”


     


    I wonder too about them  “trawling through CCTV images” of this guy.  Is he an artist?   How many times do you need to see a guy defecate, anyway?  Does he do it in significantly different ways every time?   Isn’t there some clean porno film these guys could be watching instead?  


     


    Finally, I just want to say –to Beavis and Butthead, eat your hearts out fellas-  this guy is so powerful, that when he makes a stink, he causes TRAINS to be taken out of service.  Out of Service, man, OUT OF SERVICE, knocked out cold.  More powerful than a speeding locomotive.  Read it and weep.  That is some powerful shit man.  Oh yeah.  


     


    Don’t forget, now, if YOU should see this man traveling the railway system,  DO NOT "approach him."    (It disturbs him, don't you know.)