September 19, 2006
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Status Report: (I didn’t steal this quiz from anybody, lol, but if you want it, take it.)
I am struggling with: Growing and expanding into the next chapter of my life. I suppose it is soon time to unleash me a little bit more. That probably means leaving my cozy little cave in the wilderness, and becoming more public and social. *ugh* That is sure to be rocky. It already has been, actually. I got a new group of female subscribers recently and in trying to reciprocate comments I think I aggravated every one of them. It makes me wonder -if I’m just a crude unsocial lout, (which I think I can make a good case for) or if I subconsciously tried to drive them all away. I may not be adapting too well so far.
I ‘m also having an argument with myself about embracing the term “artist,” because I’ve never wanted to be one. Every twisted nutjob I have ever met has called themselves an “artist.” It’s not a fraternity I really want to intentionally join. I never took an art class in school, and, I was raised to believe that traveling salesmen and artists were the lowest form of human life that there is. It might sound silly to you, but it would be a serious sea change for me. Not that I’ve arrived anywhere near legitimacy -to have to really face that question yet. Just little things keeping popping up here and there to make me think. My friends say I am a gifted teacher (NOT an artist) and they keep urging me to teach, which I have also rejected for years. . . Ahhhh- the slings and arrows of the perceptions of people who are not me. . . : )
I am hopeful about: I just got Music Maker 10 software. Yeah me! Now every time I act strangely, I can just lay it off as me practicing to make my own music videos. Maybe soon I can let up on the torrent of my stale old poems and bore everyone with a few of my tuneful creations.
I am meditating on: The broken duality. (For those of you who don’t know what dualities are- they are the opposites that exist everywhere- hot/cold, up/down, dark/light, good/evil, love/hate, open/closed, etc. etc. etc.)
It has always been a wonderment for me, that when I was evil, I did evil, and people hated me for it, and I expected them to. But, the duality -does not work, at least for me. I have found that if I do good, -people still hate me for it, whether I expect them to or not, and I have seen it in the lives of others, and it is mentioned so in scripture. You would expect, that if you do good, people will love you for it. That would be the duality I think you would rationally expect. But for some reason, while every other duality I can dream up works – this one does not. Why is that? (I think maybe this broken duality has serious implications for consideration of Free Will, and Original Sin.) (I might also want to see if I should add this into “The Case for The Dark Side” that I wrote earlier.)
There, NOW you know the REST of the story….. muhahahah !
Comments (1)
I think the good/evil duality is broken because, as you said, it has to be in order for us to have free will, to not be puppets. If all were rational and perfect, it would be easy to love God and do good. But since it often goes against our own wills and the wills of others that we do good (That is, what we perceive as good), we can choose to at least attempt to do what we think is a good thing among all the possibilities of good, bad, and in-between. Or we can choose to do what we perceive will advance our wills. Believing our will is best is part of Original Sin - putting us ahead of God. My problem is, very often, I can't discern the difference between what I want and what God wants.
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